Horny Monkey Blog

2 Reasons You Shouldn't Cheat On Your Wife

I was at Burning Man.  Hot naked chick hit on me.  I'm married.  I was in the middle of a desert.  Nobody would ever know. 

I said, "No, thank you."

There are 2 reasons to walk away from the hot naked Burning Man chick.  I call them the Selfish Reason and the Love Reason.

Selfish Reason:  I have love in my life, and I'm not going to jeapordise that for a peice of ass.

Love Reason:  I love and respect my wife, and I would never do something to hurt her.

Guys, read that over, twice.  Somebody needs to state the obvious.

John Mayer Proves Geeks Just Want to Boink the Prom Queen

"Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding up my sleeve"

Turns out what's hiding up his sleeve is wanting to boink the most famous prom queen in the world. 

Ask the average science geek to list his fantasy fornications:  Jennifer Love Hewitt.  Jessica Simpson.  Heidi Klum.  John did 'em all.

John Mayer proves that Geeks Just Want To Be Cool.

No More Mr. Nice Guy

A web site called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" is using evolutionary psychology to help men succeed with women has started a discussion about my book.  Thanks Hans, for getting the debate started.  In answer to some of the posts:  Of course all men don't fall into 2 catergories:  Bad Boy and Nice Guy.  We are all the descendants of men who succeeded at the whole range of roles, so we all inherit genes for the urges to act like any kind of man.  Yet we wait for our social environment to dictate what kind of strategy is best to pursue.  I myself have been treated like Nice Guy and Bad Boy by different women who evoke different sides of me.  The point is that women inherit different breeding strategies because of two different reproductive needs:  good genes and good nests.  The best nest might come from her husband.  The best genes might come from somebody else's husband.  It's hard to get both in the same man.
These urges separable in women's brains.  What turns a woman on about a one-night stand is often the opposite of what excites them about a potential husband.  I explain these differences in my presentation.

Joe's High-Tech Presentation

Mensa has asked me to speak at their 
Thanksgiving shindig, so that means 
I should address the Futurist Salon
in my quest to become King of All Geeks.  
My technique is to combine meta-analyses of
statistical correlations with testicles.  
That gets our people so excited, 
they have to grab their asthma inhalers 
before their glasses fog up.
Clip from my presentation is below.  
You'll notice I use cartoons.

http://www.joequirk.com/category/events/